The Real OreImo Ending
by Mesousa2877
Summary: One shot parody. With the reactions from fans involving how the Light Novel ended (the anime likely possibly following in it's footsteps) , I take a small take in what should have happened, what shouldn't have, and a thing that wasn't even though to begin with in the first place while also playing it straight. Say that 50 times fast.


(**Author's Note:** After much consideration, I decided to do a small one-shot parody on the OreImo ending (I'm aware there was a wedding, but I figured this would be easier). This is similar to the To-Love Ru oneshot I made called "Lala's Words", which was more of a dramatic approach on actually calling out the whole "Unwanted Harem genre" for the BS dumbassery that it is. However, I decided to make it more laughable this time around as this is ripe for at least a small laugh. I'm aware I haven't seen the show, but I've been aware of the storylines, and personally, this parody does play something straight with one moment, that, in my opinion, should have been some sort of focus in canon. You'll know what it is. Here's a hint: a possible yuri relationship.)

Kirino and Kyousuke both embrace in a slow-motion hug, with romantically music playing, as then they slowly then try to kiss, until…

**Kirino Kousaka**: Ow! (pulling the hug away) Wait…wait…stop.

The record scratches.

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: What now? Let me guess, the incest thing?

**Kirino Kousaka**: No, just…I just had a common sense-like moment. My brain just had a tiny aneurysm or something.

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: I'm sorry, what?

**Kirino Kousaka**: It's when I realize…that something's not real right about this.

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: What, you reject that you're a Lolicon _now_?

**Kirino Kousaka**: Just hear me out, hear me out. Okay, so…you love me, right?

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: Well, I decided to choose you, because, well…sure you may be a tad too perfect and everything seems to mostly revolve around you, but—

**Kirino Kousaka**: Yeah, that's cute...but…I just realized that WE'RE BOTH FREAKING BROTHER AND SISTER! What about our parents, huh?!

**Kyousuke** **Kousaka**: Well, we-Ow!

**Kirino Kousaka**: See? See? You just had one of those, too!

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: I think you might be exaggerating a bit, Kirino…

**Kirino Kousaka**: Did you really, really think this through?

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: Um…er…Well, damn…maybe you're right.

They both end up sitting on the floor.

**Kirino Kousaka**: And I almost ended up having my first kiss…

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: Well, I'm indeed royally screwed…

**Kirino Kousaka**: You really are a dumbass when it comes to relationships…

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: Don't remind me, damn it! I'm in one of those stupid situations where women love you but…UGH!

**Kirino Kousaka**: Oh, don't even get me started with that genre…even I have limits with such—WAIT, you have a h—

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: No, don't say that, don't EVER say that! You can say hentai, but not the other h word!

**Kirino Kousaka**: You know, it's funny. Now my whole life is like one bad…um…_that_ H-word comedy. It's like our lives are now being written by troll who wants to piss the audience for some random reason. What a damn shame…

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: Wait, don't you have a…h-word as well?

**Kirino Kousaka**: Unless your name is Ika Musume or Astalotte Ygvar, no, girls or lolis apparently can't have (sighs) …Harems…seriously, what the hell? Why can't more girls be like those two in real anime? I wouldn't even mind having one…but fine, if it has to be this way….

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: So…we're suddenly single? Our relationship never happened, correct?

**Kirino Kousaka**: No, thankfully…God, this shouldn't be depressing, but now it apparently is…I mean, you apparently have, what, 4 girls into you for no effort whatsoever…God, can I just get men to moan over me? To prove girls can have Unwanted Harems, too, but also have it done well? It's just so we can be even, Kyousuke.

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: To be fair…we never really acted like brother and sister through the past few years, so…maybe that's the genius logic behind this mess. Also, don't you want like a sister Harem or something?

**Kirino Kousaka**: Well, that could work, too…

Kirino's phone rings.

**Kirino Kousaka**: (picks it up) What is it?

**Ayase Aragaki**: (on the other side of the phone) I LOVE YOU, KIRINO! There, blurted it out! Yes, I've loved you so dearly, and, thanks to your brother, I can finally admit to you how I couldn't hold it anymore…your beauty, your elegance and, I don't even need to mention that…well…even if we're girls and all…I just want you to visit me, okay?

A small pause occurs.

**Kirino Kousaka**: I'll be right there!

**Ayane Aragaki**: (gasps) I'll see you too, my love! (hangs up the phone) THANK GOD.

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: Who was that?

**Kirino Kousaka**: Ayane. Turns out she loves me! Well, at least there's some justice in this world.

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: So you're turning into a lesbian?

**Kirino Kousaka**: Nope, just loving a girl. I would have broken her heart, too…

**Kyousuke** **Kousaka**: But what about my relationship troubles?

**Kirino Kousaka**: Like I said, you got tons of girlfriends. No prob. Bye! (leaves through the door)

**Kyousuke Kousaka**: (sighs) Well, guess I have no choice. (picks up phone, calls someone) Hey, um…you don't mind if we go out?

**Kouhei Akagi**: (on the other line) _What_?

Kirino would then approach Ayase, hugging her tightly as she kisses her lips with her own. We would show them make love the whole night, but this parody is not R-rated.

**Narrator**: And so, with all this is said and done this is how the tale of incest teasing came to a close. Ruri would go off to have another spin-off manga, except it actually focuses on her this time, not have a male lead comment on her.

**Ruri Gokou**: Really? Don't pull my leg this time, am I really the main _main_ character, not through the eyes of someone?

**Narrator**: Yes, really.

**Ruri Gokou**: Sell out, here I come!

**Narrator**: Saori would then be inspired by many H-games and make one of her own for glasses lovers.

**Saori** **Makashima**: You will not believe the fetishes in this! (gives a thumbs up)

**Narrator**: And finally, Minami…um…wait, she gets an epilogue ending? But she's plain, and uninteresting and…wait…

Manami Tamura enters into her room, locks the doors as she then snaps her fingers, revealing a disco ball lowering from the roof, many half-naked men appearing from under her bed, giving her a pimp cane, pimp hat and pimp coat.

**Minami Tamura**: (chuckles) You all can have a turn with me. But remember...while you do it, you shall call me…Belphegor. (laughs evilly)

THE END


End file.
